she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
