i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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