I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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