Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
