My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
