so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
