WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
