i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
