The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
