So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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