Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
