he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
