idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
