dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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