That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
