Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
