yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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