Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
