ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
