Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize