marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I am mentally ready for anal.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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