This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
