I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Randomize
