My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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