We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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