i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
