STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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