I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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