I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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