He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
