Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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