Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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