Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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