Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
the raccoons are back...
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