Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My day in three words: secret purse cake
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
