You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
