I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
