It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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