Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
