You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
How does one acquire holy water?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
