I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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