Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
