we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
