i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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