when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
