Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
