On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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