All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
