I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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