Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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