you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
